July 4, 2015
This is our story...
Eddie started having indigestion pain around the end of June and over July 4th weekend it got worse. Since he was going to be leaving for Haiti on the 14th, I told him he could not leave until he had it checked out. So he made an appointment with our general doctor on Monday July 6th after lunch. They came to the conclusion that it was probably re flux so gave him some pills to try and come back on Thursday July 9th. He was getting progressively worse and by Wednesday July 8th we noticed his eyes and skin were turning yellow and he was becoming very weak.
It was late evening and after talking to several people we decided to wait until Thursday morning for our 8am appointment. So on Thursday they ran some labs and found his liver and lipose enzymes were elevated but his white blood count was normal. We went to have an ultrasound on Friday, July 10th at 8am. After 100's of pictures and an immediate consult with the Radiologist they called our doctor and by the time we made it to the parking lot we had the news that they saw a blockage.
The specialist they wanted us to see was not in the office but on call at the ER. After consulting with him we decided that we would wait until Monday July 13th to see him unless Eddie began to get worse. Needless to say Eddie was NOT going to Haiti but we still had to get Kade ready to go.
We made it through the weekend but Eddie was now florescent yellow and very weak. Dr. Kharrat is our Gastroenterology doctor and we met with him on Monday July 13th at 8am and by 12 we were at Covenant having a procedure to remove the blockage in Eddie's bile duct. The procedure took longer and our concerns were growing. When Dr Kharrat came out he told us that there was no blockage but a restriction in the bile duct and they had to put a stint in to help open it up to buy us a little time and took a biopsy. They also cleaned a lot of the junk out so Eddie's color started improving and he felt better. At this point, Dr Kharrat told us he felt for sure it was cancer. We had a CT scan before we left and waited for the results.
Fast forward to Thursday July 16th and we went back to Dr Kharrat and were given the devastating news that it is pancreatic cancer. The CT scan is clear and the white blood count is still normal so they feel we have caught it really early and that it is contained. Our prognoses is good but we have a long road to cover. We have been blessed with really good doctors and for everything to fall into place quickly.
The plan is to travel to Dallas on Monday, meet with our surgeon and have a Whipple procedure a few days later. The procedure is a very scary and dangerous procedure but it is our best option for a fighting chance. It is all very overwhelming but we are taking it one step at a time.
Thank you for your prayers and love
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Slight Delay - July 20, 2015
When you ask for a surgeon who is experienced in a specialty surgery, you sometimes have to wait. Surgery is set for August 4th because the surgeon has no opening until then. Disappointing day. We will be returning home until August 3rd.
Please pray that Eddie continues to stay stable, that the cancer does not spread and that we find someway to survive 2 weeks without completely going crazy. I will update more later.
Dr is cautiously optimistic that he will be able to do Whipple as long as cancer has not spread! Keep the prayers coming because we know God hears our prayers.
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2 Weeks - July 21, 2015
So a little more info. Our surgeon is hoping to do the surgery by robotic laperscopy. Which means less invasive and less recovery. He is the only Doctor in this area doing this procedure with the robot and others come to him to learn it. He preforms it 2-3 times a week. As long as the cancer has not spread we are a candidate for this. So we ARE a candidate, let's just put that out there. We will be traveling back to Lubbock and Eddie can return to work if he feels up to it. Basically we are taking Eddie's lead on this.
It is hard to be patient in this day of instant gratification but it seems we are going to have too. We have felt your prayers and appreciate them more than we could ever put into words. With every hug, text, note, gift, offer of a place to stay and prayer we are humbled. God has brought the right people, the right Doctors, the right symptoms, the right technology and the right surgery in the right time. We have seen God in every step we have taken.
I will be honest, we were and are angry about this 2 week wait. We are scared about this 2 week wait. And we will be CONFIDENT in this 2 week wait.
This 2 week wait will allow Eddie to gain some weight, strength and to come to terms with all of this.
This 2 week wait will allow our family to be together. Our boys and Taylor will be home and have time to rest and get a better understanding of our fight.
This 2 week wait will allow us to make plans and love on each other as well as be loved on.
This 2 week wait will allow God time to assemble the RIGHT team and to HEAL Eddie.
So 2 weeks, we got this! Our gloves are on and we are ready. Doesn't mean we can't be angry or scared. It just means we have 2 weeks to pray, to love each other and to BELIEVE!
Thanks for loving us so completely and for taking on this fight with us. We love you all!
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July 30, 2015
Please continue to pray for Eddie and the family. They are in need of prayers for answers today!
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Words you don't want to hear - July 31, 2015
This Cancer is a weird disease. Just when you get a plan together and wrap your head around it, things change. We received a call yesterday cancelling the surgery for now. They did not like what they saw so we will have further testing before a plan is put into place. Hopefully next week Eddie will have an Endoscope biopsy here in Lubbock and then we will travel to Dallas for another CT and meeting with our surgeon. Basically, they feel like the cancer maybe more advanced and the surgery is not an option at this time. These test will give us a more clear answer to what is going on and how best to proceed. We are devastated by this news but moving forward as best we can. Our prayer now is that they are wrong and we can proceed with surgery.
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August 4, 2015
Scope tomorrow and our surgeon, Dr Mejia in Dallas, wants us in Dallas on Monday for CT and appt to decide. We are going packed to stay!!! Praise God we are moving forward!
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August 5, 2015
Eddie is out and doing good. Found tumor in head of pancreas. Will have to wait until Monday to figure out next move will be surgery or chemo then surgery. Love yall
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Praising God - August 10, 2015
We are praising God for working in abundance on our behalf over Eddie. What a journey it has been so far. Today we met with Dr. Mejia after a long morning of testing to find out that Eddie will be having surgery on Wednesday at 8am. Dr. Mejia had a cancellation that he was holding just in case everything worked out and it did. He is still hoping to do the Whipple by laparoscopy. It is a little scary and overwhelming when you get what you have been praying for but we are confident God's hand has been with us every step. Being away from home during this time has been one of the most difficult parts of this for our family but we have never felt alone because of all of the text, phone calls, friends and family taking care of our house and dog, friends that have opened their homes to us and prayers that are going up on our behalf. Our needs right now is for a hotel room to open up in the hospital hotel, with this short notice for surgery, they are booked and we want to be as close to the hospital as possible. We have made arrangements for a couple of nights in a hotel close by for now. I know that God will provide as he has shown up in so many ways thus far. Thank you all for loving us, praying for us and supporting us. We could not imagine walking this walk with alone.
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August 12, 2015
They took Eddie back about 9 this morning. I just got word from Susan that they are going to have to open him up. So it will be at least two more hours before they are finished. Please keep praying for Eddie, medical staff, and the family as they wait. I'll update as soon as I hear more!
He's out and in ICU. They took out a tumor about the size of 3 cm which I pretty big. He will need to have chemo and radiation to get rid of all the cancer cells left in the body. We got a miracle today but keep praying for more healing.
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Miracles - August 13, 2015
Miracles happen everyday. They come in all forms but when you get a front row seat to God showing up and showing off it is humbling and awesome to watch.
Today has been a long, exhausting day but filled with God's miracles. Dr Mejia tried to perform the Whipple laperscopy but ran into complications. Once in there the tumor was larger than we thought and he felt he needed to open Eddie up. Not our first choice but it turned out to be the best. You see everyone has a main artery going to their liver that you cannot live without. Well it seems when God was creating Eddie, he got 2 arteries. This is very rare, in fact Dr Mejia said he had only seen it a couple of times. This great discovery allowed Dr Mejia to remove the affected artery and leave the other one in place. How wonderful and cool is that? Once again, God knew our needs and provided!
Our hotel needs where met yesterday and we have a room at the Hospital Hotel for the next week.
Eddie will have to have aggressive chemo and radiation down the road but our hero and friend, Dr Kharrat is on it. (Just a side note, Dr Kharrat has been praying and texting us from his personal cell phone for updates this whole week. What Doctor does that? He is such a wonderful, man and doctor, we are so blessed by him). Every Doctor we have is a praying man.
We have laughed, cried, been scared and praised God all in one day. But the glorious thing is we got one more day with a whole lot of other days following because we believed what we were crying out to God. We felt your prayers today. We exposed our fears and trusted God would show up to calm us. AND, we believed that it was going to be a GOOD DAY for a miracle. Please keep praying, we have a long road ahead.
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August 14, 2015
We have had a good day! Lots of tubes removed. Up and walking. Just trying to control the pain. He will start a liquid diet tomorrow so prayers for that to go good would be appreciated. I am so thankful for our boys. They have loved us and taken care of me and their Dad. Sure am glad they are with us.
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August 16, 2015
Well it has been 5 days since surgery and Eddie is doing amazing well. All but one tube is out, dressing on the 10 inch incision is off and he has moved up to full liquids on his diet (pudding, thicker broth, etc). He is walking more each day and even had a shower today. Caryn (my sister) was in town this weekend and we had a few visitors today. We are waiting on the pathology report to have more info about the tumor and the stage we are in. We continue to be in awe of all that God has done and continues to do daily. Kade has returned home and Zachary will be leaving on Tuesday. It seams that life goes on. Thanks again for going on this journey with us and for loving us from a far! God is Good!
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My Hero - August 17, 2015
I want to talk tonight about my Hero and my best friend. Eddie has never complained nor has he asked "why me". He has just accepted this stupid disease with grace and strength. He has quietly but fiercely agreed to fight this battle with God, our family, amazing Doctors and our friends. I have never loved him more or been more proud of him. Such a long road we have to travel but I am so thankful and honored that I am the one who was chosen to walk this walk with him.
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Released - August 18, 2015
Life is good!! Eddie was released from the hospital today, Zachary went home and we found out we can go home on Tuesday. Praise God!
Everyone says Eddie is doing better than anyone they have ever seen. He still has pain but only takes pain medication when he sleeps or when I drive him anywhere. Ha Ha Since they removed 30% of his pancreas and a 1/3 of his stomach he is having a hard time keeping weight one. He has lost 26 lbs in 6 weeks, 6 of those lbs were in last 2 days. This will be our biggest battle right now. Thank you for loving us, for continuing to check on us and for continuing to lift us up in prayer.
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Results - August 19, 2015
Praising God and watching miracles happen always makes for a good day. Pathology reports came back as Stage 2b which means Advanced but contained. Eddie will have to have aggressive Chemo and probably Radiation but the fast growing cancer had not spread to any other areas besides around the tumor. We are finding God's grace every step we make. We cannot wait to be home but are so blessed by our friends Teresa, Joe and Emily for opening their home to us. They have made this so much more bearable with their unconditional love. Spending our days hanging out and healing!
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More Praises - August 24, 2015
Praising God for my Amazing Husband tonight. He was a champ today having 35+ staples removed. Dr Mejia said he is doing great. We will be traveling home Tuesday. We praise God for our Doctors, Zachary, Kade, family, friends and for each other. Our first leg is complete. After some healing we will move on to treatment. Thank you for your support and love.
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God's Timetable - September 3, 2015
God has continued to amaze us through Eddie's healing. He is feeling stronger and better each day. We just have to keep reminding ourselves that it has only been 3 weeks since surgery and find the patience to allow time to heal and gain weight before our next stage of our fight.
We have met with 2 Oncologist and formed a plan. Who knew you had to have a Chemo Dr and a Radiation Dr but you do. Eddie will be having Radiation for 6 weeks, in conjunction he will have a 24 hr Chemo pump for those same 6 weeks. Followed up with another round of a different Chemo. They told us it would be aggressive and they weren't joking but this gives us the best chance of kicking this nasty disease to the curb.
He still needs about 2 weeks to heal from the surgery before we move forward. Please continue to pray for complete healing and for minimal side effects. Thank you so much walking this walk with us, for praying without ceasing and for loving our family. We have a long way to go but we are taking it one step at a time.
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Prayers - September 17, 2015
Please keep Eddie in your prayers. He was admitted to the hospital today due to dehydration.
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September 20, 2015
We thank everyone for your prayers. Eddie is still in the hospital and we are still looking for answers. He will be having a scope tomorrow to see if they can figure put what is going on. Please keep him in to your prayers this week as we start chemo and radiation. We have a busy week ahead as we face the next stage in our journey. We love you all and are so blessed that you are choosing to walk this path with us.
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Homeward Bound - September 21, 2015
WE ARE GOING HOME!! We chose to refuse the scope and wait for our Doctor. They think this was a virus and Eddie cannot handle it like most people. Still have lots going on this week with the port and treatment starting. Thanks again for the prayers.
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Eddie's Words - September 24, 2015
This is Eddie and I want to thank you all for surrounding us with prayers and love. We have felt them. I have had a couple of good days after my stay in the hospital which was a relief after feeling so bad. I have been practicing specific prayers and visualization to help with my healing. As I start treatment I am asking you to join me in praying specifically for the chemo and radiation to attack the bad cells and for the side effects to minimal. I know that if we all join together it will make a huge difference.
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Side Effects - October 14, 2015
I wanted to give everyone an update. Eddie is having more bad days than good. He has started having more side effects now. Sores in his mouth, pain where radiation goes, nausea, fatigue and of course more weight loss. Thanks to our boys and friends he is getting to treatment. Phase 1 is half over, 13 more radiation treatments and then we switch chemo. Thanks for loving and praying for us.
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Single Digits - October 28, 2015
We are in single digits with this first round of treatment. The last couple of weeks have been rough but Eddie is feeling so much better this week. He had to get off the chemo pump for a week, radiation for 2 days and have some fluids but it has been so much better and he is finishing strong. His last radiation and chemo pump will be November 4th. Not sure what the next step will be but we know he will have to have some type of chemo. The type and length will be decided next week. Through this whole ordeal we have never felt alone. We have our weak moments, our scared moments and our confused moments but we also have our moments that we rejoice in all that God has done and is still doing through this. Our walk is really just beginning, our story is still being written and each day is a blessing. Thank you for loving us.
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Strong Women - November 4, 2015
As we finish up Eddie's radiation and chemo pump and head into the next phase of treatment God put this on my heart. Eddie has had more bad days than good and I have struggled watching him.
My mom is the strongest person I know. She has one Great Love, my Dad. 6 pretty good kids, one in heaven and the rest here with her, 6 excellent grandsons, 3 wonderful granddaughters and 3 awesome great-grandchildren!!! Mom has shown great courage through the years without my Dad and even more so after her diagnosis of beginning Alzheimer's.
My dad had his first heart attack at 44 and past away at 50. I always knew my parents loved each other but witnessing Mom's love was one of the greatest blessings I have ever had. Since I was single and young, I spent a lot of time with my parents during Daddy's final months. I believe God was preparing me for this time in my life.
Being a caregiver for the man I love and watching my boys love their Dad and me over the past months has been an amazing if not painful path. I watched my mom do this with my Dad and her parents, my Papa with Granny and then the family with my Papa. I learned how to love someone through painful times as well as good, how to trust God even when we don't understand and how to just be with someone when you can do nothing else.
My prayer for my boys is that they never have to go through this with the person they love but if they do that they live with no regrets, say the things that need to be said, serve well and love with their whole heart.
There are days that are hard for me and more often than not I feel like I fail God, Eddie, my boys, my mom or my sister but on those days I look to my mom for inspiration and love. I pray I can be half the woman she is. I am learning to lean on others, ask for help and to embrace my short comings. God is working a miracle here and I thank him daily for giving me a front row seat. Keep praying for Eddie as we begin this next phase of treatment.
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Happy Thanksgiving - November 24, 2015
I hope this Thanksgiving Season finds you and yours happy, healthy and blessed. As Thanksgiving approaches we find ourselves feeling so grateful for TIME. We now try to live our lives around one goal. LIVING in the moments of today. Overall that is the way we always should have been living but more often than not we failed. Loving each other well, connecting with our family and friends, giving time instead of rushing through. So many people have reached out to us, prayed for us and loved us and you will never know how much that means.
Eddie is scheduled for a scan and the start of the second round of chemo right around the 6 month mark of the our beginning of our journey. July 4th will always be the day that we felt like something was wrong even though the days that followed proved to be when our world changed. One of the hardest things about living with Eddie’s cancer has been the feeling that loss. Loss of time with our family and friends. Loss of health. Loss of weight. Loss of community. Loss of freedom to dream about some day. Loss of innocence. But we are not without Hope! We see God’s hand every day in our lives, the path we are on and our family and friends.
I think that anyone that has been through this will tell you that your whole life becomes about the day, the hour and sometimes the minutes that your loved one feels better. Our lives are no longer ruled by schedules but by appointments and treatments. There are no more to do list because frankly we are physically and emotionally too tired. Our DVR is still set to some TV shows but we don’t watch them fast enough so they get deleted. Although, Eddie is much more tolerable to watching the Hallmark movies that I so love this time of year. We don’t make plans that are more than a few days ahead because good days can turn into bad ones quickly. BUT…We are so blessed, loved and thankful. We ask that you say an extra pray in the coming weeks and especially on December 8th as we start this next chemo.
So this Thanksgiving…. spend the day relaxing, loving each other, playing crazy games and doing something fun.
We love you all
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December 31, 2015
As 2015 comes to a close and 2016 begins, we cannot help but look back before we can look forward. 2015 was a game changer for our family.
The first 6 months were filled with excitement and a little sadness for all of the “last times” as we prepared for Kade’s graduation. It was a little sad but Eddie and I are so proud of our boys. They are great men with a deep relationship with God, they have surrounded themselves with great people and they have excelled at their jobs and school but most importantly they continue to love their family. Now they do grumble but they humor their mom’s need to see and talk to them every few days. My boys and Eddie have all been to Haiti with our church youth and Eddie and Kade were preparing for a last trip in July. So life was moving along and exciting times were ahead.
As most know, Eddie was not feeling well the end of June and first of July. I refused to let him leave the country before seeing a doctor so he went. What began on July 4th as possible reflux or gall stones turned out to be so much more. Pancreatic Cancer. Fast forward 1 month, lots of prayers and praises, the right and best doctors, surgery and a plan…we have a shot at a future!
What that future is we don’t know but we do know that God has this! We have seen God move in mighty ways. Our road may be long and hard but it is also a road we are willing and grateful to travel. We know that most people with this type of cancer don’t have the opportunities that we are being given. So even though the future is uncertain and scary. It is a future that we are thankful for. It is a future we choose to grab a hold of and LIVE. It is a future we are honored to be given.
But it is the PRESENT that we are most grateful for. It is the PRESENT we choose to grab a hold of. It is the PRESENT that we choose to live in.
Eddie’s scans came back clear and is considered CANCER FREE! He began chemo in December and has 5 months to go. Besides being tired, he has tolerated it well. This type of chemo is considered a “Life sustaining” chemo. It helps prevent a re occurrence so we want him to have as many treatments as he can tolerate. That being said, his counts have been low so he was only able to have 2 out of the 3 treatments for December. So hopefully, he will be able to start them back next week.
So in 2016, love your family, stay health, live each moment and make memories!
Thank you for loving us, supporting us and praying for us!
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February 7, 2016
10 month
1 Ultrasound
2 scopes
Multiple MRIs
2 trips to Dallas
8 Angels Dressed in White
Too Many Loving Nurses to count
2 Hospital Stays
20 days in Dallas away from home
1 Life saving Surgery
And a Partridge in a Pear Tree!! Ha Ha
Eddie is doing remarkable well. He is working full time most days, gaining weight and living life. Chemo days are always hard and he gets tired but overall you would never know he was sick. We keep a low profile most of the time just to try and stay well. They have decided to try adding the 3rd treatment back to see if he can tolerate it. So pray that happens, our doctor really wants him to have them but we will just have to see.
We wanted to share that it looks like April 7th will be his last treatment. 6 days before his birthday! Oh what a great day this will be, anyone want to party!
We never doubted we would be here. We know how blessed we are and are honored to be given this chance but we never once thought Eddie would not BEAT THE CRAP out of this cancer. I could quote you all these percentages and survival rates but we don't focus on that because lets face it, they are overwhelmingly negative. We take it for what it is, numbers taken from someone else's journey. It can be overwhelming if you let it. So we choose to focus on Eddie's fight, his journey, his numbers and his success. We have said it before and we will keep saying it.
God has and still has us. He has loved us and surrounded us with praying people. He has provided us with all we need. God is Good, All the Time!
Thank you for loving us and choosing to walk with us.
We Love you all,
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March 22, 2016
3 WEEKS....Thursday marks the last round of chemo for Eddie. 3 weeks and he will be done. Back in July this day seemed so far away. But here we are walking where so few with this horrible disease get to go. Eddie is doing really well but the last couple of treatments have really hit him hard so we are expecting it to be a rough ending.
We both seem to be a little more emotional as the end draws near. As excited as we are we also have fear of the future. Cancer is a strange thing and being a survivor can sometimes be just as frightening as having cancer. As we move forward, pray for Eddie and I to have peace as we walk this new path.
Thanks for loving us through this.
We are walking joyously into the future, believing and praising God!
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Pray Hard - April 1, 2016
Eddie is being flown to Dallas because he has developed some complications from his Whipple surgery. We have very few details at this time. As soon as we have more information we will update.
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April 2, 2016
NG tube is out. MRI has been done. He feels a lot better. Dr Mejia will be back tomorrow to talk about plan. May do a scope too. Feels like damage from radiation may have caused restrictions. If that is case they will have to operate and do a bypass to correct. No one feels like cancer is back but not a 100% sure. We feel better after talking with Dr Mejia.
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April 4, 2016
Eddie is scheduled for surgery at 1:30 tomorrow to clear blockage. Thank you for your continued prayers.
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April 5, 2016
Eddie is out of surgery. They bypassed the affected bile duct but unfortunately found more cancer. We will find out more as soon as pathology comes back but chemo will be only option. We are in shock and sad. Thanks for your prayers. Please keep them coming as I prepare to tell Eddie and for the boys.
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Words we hoped not to hear - April 9, 2016
I am sorry that we have not updated in a couple of days. We have needed a few days to really hear the words and we have needed time with our boys. The impact and complete devastation we feel are hard to express. Our journey has taken the turn we so hoped we were going to avoid. You have allowed me to pour my heart out during this whole journey but all I feel now is loss and that is hard to express. It looks like Eddie's cancer is Stage 4. We are not sure what that means in treatment or time but we do know we have today and for that we are thankful. We appreciate and feel all your thoughts and prayers.
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Ready to Fight - April 12, 2016
We are on day 12 of our hospital stay and hoping to be moving out in the next couple of days. Eddie is getting a little better everyday but it is just a slow process for him this time around. Tomorrow we will celebrate Eddie's birthday hopefully with an eviction notice. We will be staying in the area with family for a couple of days before heading home. The boys went home on Sunday and are getting back to normal thanks to family and friends.
We are ready to be home and to meet with our Oncologist to get the fight started. Thanks for loving us.
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Breaking Free - April 15, 2016
15 days later and we are finally leaving the hospital. Eddie is doing so much better. Doctors finally figured out that his stomach is not working right and with a little nudge and some medicine we are getting it to work much better. Our prayer is that it will continue to improve so we can get home to begin to fight. We will stay in Mansfield with family and friends for a couple of days and then head home.
We cannot thank you enough for carrying our prayers and loving us over the last couple of weeks. Even though we hoped to not be here we praise God for walking before us. As usual he has provided us with a chance to fight, a chance to find the cancer before it was too late and a chance to tell our story of his grace and mercy. It has taken us a while to get here but God is so good and patient and he understands our needs. We love you all and will be home soon.
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True Love - May 6, 2016
I most often talk about how we are doing and try to stay positive when sharing with everyone. But to be totally honest, most days are brutal and sometimes I am not sure how we will bear what is coming. Eddie is fighting through each day. We are still fighting the infection and weighing our options on treatment plans. As I try and prepare my heart for the coming months, days, minutes…God keeps whispering peace over me. I have truly felt God hold me up when I never thought I would be able to stand. He has put so many people in my path to help encourage and strengthen me. There are too many to name but I am thankful for each and every one of you.
Last Saturday was such a blessing for all of us and we thank everyone who came to the party, sent messages and loved us. Many traveled far to celebrate Eddie and spend they few hours with us. It was everything we hoped and more than we could ever have imagined. You have allowed me to pour my heart out on this page and I wanted to share what I wrote for Saturday night. Specific pray request is for pain. That is our biggest battle moving forward. Thank you all and know we love you with all our hearts.
Eddie, loving you has always come easy for me, liking each other sometimes was harder. From the first time we met, I felt at home. And it only took me a few short weeks to convince YOU that I was right!J This has been a theme for our marriage…me convincing you I am right! For those of you that don’t know our story, our first date was December 31st 1991 and we were engaged a few short months later and married a few short months after that in October 1992. After losing my dad 1.5 years before, I felt RIGHT for the first time in a long time.
We have loved each other through our brightest of days and through our darkest of days. Eddie, you held me, walked beside me and loved me during our hard fought battle to have our boys. I watched you become a Dad, to lead our boys and many others by example. I have watched you love our mothers, our sisters and our families and you have gone along with most anything I have thrown at you. Again, pretty much a THEME of our marriage.
Eddie has become flexible when dealing with our crazy life. Whether it is graciously receiving a “puppy” for an Anniversary gift knowing it is really for me or helping me cook for “OUR KIDS”, you are always up for the ride. You see, it is not unusual for me to walk in and say I am cooking or we are doing this tonight, which leads to Eddie asking “How many people are we talking about?” He has learned to ask “How many” and he has learned NOT to say, “Well I don’t want too but whatever you want!” If he means NO he has to say NO. Because that my friends is how we ended up with one of our other dogs! Right boys?
When we got married we said, “For Better and Worse and In Sickness and In Health.” We got the “For Better or Worse” pretty early. We started our pre-marriage off by driving all the way to Georgia and back with my mom. To this day “a rosebush has many thorns” has a double meaning because of this trip! (So let me remind you all of our short engagement, after that trip I had to lock him in!)J There were MANY, MANY Anniversary soccer trips over the years. The unforgettable HOT, raccoon and did I mention HOT “Mother’s Day” camping trip, the building of 2 homes…AND 24 years later WE ARE STILL MARRIED. God is GOOD!
We never expected to walk the path we are on but here we are. If there is one thing we have learned, it is to live each day to the fullest and to not sweat the small stuff. Our house may not be clean or updated. We may not drive fancy cars or have the best toys but we do know how to love fierce and laugh often.
“In Sickness and in Health” has never meant more than this past year. Faced with a formable opponent, Eddie, you have lead by example once again. Thank you for choosing to fight every day. It has been my privilege to walk beside you. My honor to carry the burden for you when you could not. And my greatest joy to love you through this long battle.
To our boys, you have stood watch over Dad and me, helped whenever we have called and allowed us to lean on you. We could not get through this without you and we could not be more proud of both of you or love you more.
In our darkest hours we have cried out to God for strength and healing. He walked before us and we have felt him in every step, in every doctor and in every answered pray. Although, the journey is not over, you have conquered the first mountain. Now we will climb the next mountain, just as we did the first, with God walking before us.
So tonight first and foremost, we Thank God for each day we have been given and will be given.
Second, We thank you, our family and friends, for walking beside us, for lifting us up, for praying for us, for supporting us, for celebrating with us and most importantly for loving us. You have all blessed our lives, sat at our table and held us up. You have shown us God’s love in a mighty way!
But most importantly, tonight we celebrate Eddie.
Eddie,
You are putting in the time
You are fighting the fight
You are choosing to Live.
You love well and you are well loved!
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Confident but Broken Hearted - May 19, 2016
It is with a confident but broken heart that we have decided to stop all treatments and enter hospice care. We thank God everyday for giving us the past 10 months and for giving us however many more days we have left. Even though this is not the outcome we wanted we still thank God for blessing us with this victory and we pray for pain free day. Please continue to lift our family up and hold us close in your daily prayers.
Throughout this journey there have been so many ups and downs and we are humbled and so honored that you have chosen to walk beside us. You continue to amaze us at how well you love us. There are no words that could ever express how much we appreciate it. Eddie and I have always tried to live by example and in some small way hope to leave places better than we found them. There is not a day that goes by that we do not see Eddie's handprints in the places he has worked or lived. Many people we know and some that we have never met have reached out to help us and shared stories of what Eddie has done for them, some things we knew about but many he quietly did but more often than not he just quietly did God's work and made places better.
We love you all
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Letting Go - May 24, 2016
Life has a funny way of showing us what we are made of when we least expect it. I have learned that loving someone enough to let them go takes great courage but asking them to stay is selfish and believe me I want to be selfish. We have no doubt of where Eddie is going and who he will see but being ok with that is something that has taken some time. I am not sure if my heart knows how to beat without him. As I sit beside Eddie night after night and day after day I realize how much he has impacted my life and many others and I know I am a better wife, mother, daughter and person because he loved me so well. The pain I feel watching Eddie can only be a small portion of what God felt for his own son or Mary and Joseph felt watching Jesus. I will be honest with you, knowing we will see him again does little to comfort me because I am feeling kinda selfish but some day it WILL comfort me, today is not that day. I know we will be some form of ok with time and love. I praise God every day for allowing me to walk this path with Eddie and for loving us enough to not walk it alone. Over the next hours and days, keep us in prayers as we prepare to say goodbye.
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Pain Free and Cancer Free - May 28, 2016
As Eddie took his last breath at 3:50am I am reminded of this. "Live your life not by how many breathes you take but how many things take your breath away." Eddie was a quiet man who lived his life with dignity and grace, stealing my breath away every single day and loving us well. I will never breath the same way again. I love you honey, oh how I love you and we will miss you.
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Final Goodbye - June 1, 2016
As I prepare to say goodbye to the love of my life it seems surreal that Eddie is gone. That I have to live a lifetime before I get to hold his hand, kiss or hug him. At times I think how unfair it is but then I try to remind myself that I had more in 24 years, especially the last 10 months, than most people find in a lifetime. Still understanding the why will never come in my lifetime but I will live each day trying to be a doer with a happy heart like Eddie. Someday, my heart will beat again and breathing will not take as much effort but for now my boys and my family will be enough to make the days not so long. I love you Eddie and will miss you everyday that I live without you.
This is our story...
Eddie started having indigestion pain around the end of June and over July 4th weekend it got worse. Since he was going to be leaving for Haiti on the 14th, I told him he could not leave until he had it checked out. So he made an appointment with our general doctor on Monday July 6th after lunch. They came to the conclusion that it was probably re flux so gave him some pills to try and come back on Thursday July 9th. He was getting progressively worse and by Wednesday July 8th we noticed his eyes and skin were turning yellow and he was becoming very weak.
It was late evening and after talking to several people we decided to wait until Thursday morning for our 8am appointment. So on Thursday they ran some labs and found his liver and lipose enzymes were elevated but his white blood count was normal. We went to have an ultrasound on Friday, July 10th at 8am. After 100's of pictures and an immediate consult with the Radiologist they called our doctor and by the time we made it to the parking lot we had the news that they saw a blockage.
The specialist they wanted us to see was not in the office but on call at the ER. After consulting with him we decided that we would wait until Monday July 13th to see him unless Eddie began to get worse. Needless to say Eddie was NOT going to Haiti but we still had to get Kade ready to go.
We made it through the weekend but Eddie was now florescent yellow and very weak. Dr. Kharrat is our Gastroenterology doctor and we met with him on Monday July 13th at 8am and by 12 we were at Covenant having a procedure to remove the blockage in Eddie's bile duct. The procedure took longer and our concerns were growing. When Dr Kharrat came out he told us that there was no blockage but a restriction in the bile duct and they had to put a stint in to help open it up to buy us a little time and took a biopsy. They also cleaned a lot of the junk out so Eddie's color started improving and he felt better. At this point, Dr Kharrat told us he felt for sure it was cancer. We had a CT scan before we left and waited for the results.
Fast forward to Thursday July 16th and we went back to Dr Kharrat and were given the devastating news that it is pancreatic cancer. The CT scan is clear and the white blood count is still normal so they feel we have caught it really early and that it is contained. Our prognoses is good but we have a long road to cover. We have been blessed with really good doctors and for everything to fall into place quickly.
The plan is to travel to Dallas on Monday, meet with our surgeon and have a Whipple procedure a few days later. The procedure is a very scary and dangerous procedure but it is our best option for a fighting chance. It is all very overwhelming but we are taking it one step at a time.
Thank you for your prayers and love
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Slight Delay - July 20, 2015
When you ask for a surgeon who is experienced in a specialty surgery, you sometimes have to wait. Surgery is set for August 4th because the surgeon has no opening until then. Disappointing day. We will be returning home until August 3rd.
Please pray that Eddie continues to stay stable, that the cancer does not spread and that we find someway to survive 2 weeks without completely going crazy. I will update more later.
Dr is cautiously optimistic that he will be able to do Whipple as long as cancer has not spread! Keep the prayers coming because we know God hears our prayers.
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2 Weeks - July 21, 2015
So a little more info. Our surgeon is hoping to do the surgery by robotic laperscopy. Which means less invasive and less recovery. He is the only Doctor in this area doing this procedure with the robot and others come to him to learn it. He preforms it 2-3 times a week. As long as the cancer has not spread we are a candidate for this. So we ARE a candidate, let's just put that out there. We will be traveling back to Lubbock and Eddie can return to work if he feels up to it. Basically we are taking Eddie's lead on this.
It is hard to be patient in this day of instant gratification but it seems we are going to have too. We have felt your prayers and appreciate them more than we could ever put into words. With every hug, text, note, gift, offer of a place to stay and prayer we are humbled. God has brought the right people, the right Doctors, the right symptoms, the right technology and the right surgery in the right time. We have seen God in every step we have taken.
I will be honest, we were and are angry about this 2 week wait. We are scared about this 2 week wait. And we will be CONFIDENT in this 2 week wait.
This 2 week wait will allow Eddie to gain some weight, strength and to come to terms with all of this.
This 2 week wait will allow our family to be together. Our boys and Taylor will be home and have time to rest and get a better understanding of our fight.
This 2 week wait will allow us to make plans and love on each other as well as be loved on.
This 2 week wait will allow God time to assemble the RIGHT team and to HEAL Eddie.
So 2 weeks, we got this! Our gloves are on and we are ready. Doesn't mean we can't be angry or scared. It just means we have 2 weeks to pray, to love each other and to BELIEVE!
Thanks for loving us so completely and for taking on this fight with us. We love you all!
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July 30, 2015
Please continue to pray for Eddie and the family. They are in need of prayers for answers today!
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Words you don't want to hear - July 31, 2015
This Cancer is a weird disease. Just when you get a plan together and wrap your head around it, things change. We received a call yesterday cancelling the surgery for now. They did not like what they saw so we will have further testing before a plan is put into place. Hopefully next week Eddie will have an Endoscope biopsy here in Lubbock and then we will travel to Dallas for another CT and meeting with our surgeon. Basically, they feel like the cancer maybe more advanced and the surgery is not an option at this time. These test will give us a more clear answer to what is going on and how best to proceed. We are devastated by this news but moving forward as best we can. Our prayer now is that they are wrong and we can proceed with surgery.
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August 4, 2015
Scope tomorrow and our surgeon, Dr Mejia in Dallas, wants us in Dallas on Monday for CT and appt to decide. We are going packed to stay!!! Praise God we are moving forward!
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August 5, 2015
Eddie is out and doing good. Found tumor in head of pancreas. Will have to wait until Monday to figure out next move will be surgery or chemo then surgery. Love yall
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Praising God - August 10, 2015
We are praising God for working in abundance on our behalf over Eddie. What a journey it has been so far. Today we met with Dr. Mejia after a long morning of testing to find out that Eddie will be having surgery on Wednesday at 8am. Dr. Mejia had a cancellation that he was holding just in case everything worked out and it did. He is still hoping to do the Whipple by laparoscopy. It is a little scary and overwhelming when you get what you have been praying for but we are confident God's hand has been with us every step. Being away from home during this time has been one of the most difficult parts of this for our family but we have never felt alone because of all of the text, phone calls, friends and family taking care of our house and dog, friends that have opened their homes to us and prayers that are going up on our behalf. Our needs right now is for a hotel room to open up in the hospital hotel, with this short notice for surgery, they are booked and we want to be as close to the hospital as possible. We have made arrangements for a couple of nights in a hotel close by for now. I know that God will provide as he has shown up in so many ways thus far. Thank you all for loving us, praying for us and supporting us. We could not imagine walking this walk with alone.
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August 12, 2015
They took Eddie back about 9 this morning. I just got word from Susan that they are going to have to open him up. So it will be at least two more hours before they are finished. Please keep praying for Eddie, medical staff, and the family as they wait. I'll update as soon as I hear more!
He's out and in ICU. They took out a tumor about the size of 3 cm which I pretty big. He will need to have chemo and radiation to get rid of all the cancer cells left in the body. We got a miracle today but keep praying for more healing.
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Miracles - August 13, 2015
Miracles happen everyday. They come in all forms but when you get a front row seat to God showing up and showing off it is humbling and awesome to watch.
Today has been a long, exhausting day but filled with God's miracles. Dr Mejia tried to perform the Whipple laperscopy but ran into complications. Once in there the tumor was larger than we thought and he felt he needed to open Eddie up. Not our first choice but it turned out to be the best. You see everyone has a main artery going to their liver that you cannot live without. Well it seems when God was creating Eddie, he got 2 arteries. This is very rare, in fact Dr Mejia said he had only seen it a couple of times. This great discovery allowed Dr Mejia to remove the affected artery and leave the other one in place. How wonderful and cool is that? Once again, God knew our needs and provided!
Our hotel needs where met yesterday and we have a room at the Hospital Hotel for the next week.
Eddie will have to have aggressive chemo and radiation down the road but our hero and friend, Dr Kharrat is on it. (Just a side note, Dr Kharrat has been praying and texting us from his personal cell phone for updates this whole week. What Doctor does that? He is such a wonderful, man and doctor, we are so blessed by him). Every Doctor we have is a praying man.
We have laughed, cried, been scared and praised God all in one day. But the glorious thing is we got one more day with a whole lot of other days following because we believed what we were crying out to God. We felt your prayers today. We exposed our fears and trusted God would show up to calm us. AND, we believed that it was going to be a GOOD DAY for a miracle. Please keep praying, we have a long road ahead.
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August 14, 2015
We have had a good day! Lots of tubes removed. Up and walking. Just trying to control the pain. He will start a liquid diet tomorrow so prayers for that to go good would be appreciated. I am so thankful for our boys. They have loved us and taken care of me and their Dad. Sure am glad they are with us.
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August 16, 2015
Well it has been 5 days since surgery and Eddie is doing amazing well. All but one tube is out, dressing on the 10 inch incision is off and he has moved up to full liquids on his diet (pudding, thicker broth, etc). He is walking more each day and even had a shower today. Caryn (my sister) was in town this weekend and we had a few visitors today. We are waiting on the pathology report to have more info about the tumor and the stage we are in. We continue to be in awe of all that God has done and continues to do daily. Kade has returned home and Zachary will be leaving on Tuesday. It seams that life goes on. Thanks again for going on this journey with us and for loving us from a far! God is Good!
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My Hero - August 17, 2015
I want to talk tonight about my Hero and my best friend. Eddie has never complained nor has he asked "why me". He has just accepted this stupid disease with grace and strength. He has quietly but fiercely agreed to fight this battle with God, our family, amazing Doctors and our friends. I have never loved him more or been more proud of him. Such a long road we have to travel but I am so thankful and honored that I am the one who was chosen to walk this walk with him.
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Released - August 18, 2015
Life is good!! Eddie was released from the hospital today, Zachary went home and we found out we can go home on Tuesday. Praise God!
Everyone says Eddie is doing better than anyone they have ever seen. He still has pain but only takes pain medication when he sleeps or when I drive him anywhere. Ha Ha Since they removed 30% of his pancreas and a 1/3 of his stomach he is having a hard time keeping weight one. He has lost 26 lbs in 6 weeks, 6 of those lbs were in last 2 days. This will be our biggest battle right now. Thank you for loving us, for continuing to check on us and for continuing to lift us up in prayer.
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Results - August 19, 2015
Praising God and watching miracles happen always makes for a good day. Pathology reports came back as Stage 2b which means Advanced but contained. Eddie will have to have aggressive Chemo and probably Radiation but the fast growing cancer had not spread to any other areas besides around the tumor. We are finding God's grace every step we make. We cannot wait to be home but are so blessed by our friends Teresa, Joe and Emily for opening their home to us. They have made this so much more bearable with their unconditional love. Spending our days hanging out and healing!
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More Praises - August 24, 2015
Praising God for my Amazing Husband tonight. He was a champ today having 35+ staples removed. Dr Mejia said he is doing great. We will be traveling home Tuesday. We praise God for our Doctors, Zachary, Kade, family, friends and for each other. Our first leg is complete. After some healing we will move on to treatment. Thank you for your support and love.
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God's Timetable - September 3, 2015
God has continued to amaze us through Eddie's healing. He is feeling stronger and better each day. We just have to keep reminding ourselves that it has only been 3 weeks since surgery and find the patience to allow time to heal and gain weight before our next stage of our fight.
We have met with 2 Oncologist and formed a plan. Who knew you had to have a Chemo Dr and a Radiation Dr but you do. Eddie will be having Radiation for 6 weeks, in conjunction he will have a 24 hr Chemo pump for those same 6 weeks. Followed up with another round of a different Chemo. They told us it would be aggressive and they weren't joking but this gives us the best chance of kicking this nasty disease to the curb.
He still needs about 2 weeks to heal from the surgery before we move forward. Please continue to pray for complete healing and for minimal side effects. Thank you so much walking this walk with us, for praying without ceasing and for loving our family. We have a long way to go but we are taking it one step at a time.
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Prayers - September 17, 2015
Please keep Eddie in your prayers. He was admitted to the hospital today due to dehydration.
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September 20, 2015
We thank everyone for your prayers. Eddie is still in the hospital and we are still looking for answers. He will be having a scope tomorrow to see if they can figure put what is going on. Please keep him in to your prayers this week as we start chemo and radiation. We have a busy week ahead as we face the next stage in our journey. We love you all and are so blessed that you are choosing to walk this path with us.
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Homeward Bound - September 21, 2015
WE ARE GOING HOME!! We chose to refuse the scope and wait for our Doctor. They think this was a virus and Eddie cannot handle it like most people. Still have lots going on this week with the port and treatment starting. Thanks again for the prayers.
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Eddie's Words - September 24, 2015
This is Eddie and I want to thank you all for surrounding us with prayers and love. We have felt them. I have had a couple of good days after my stay in the hospital which was a relief after feeling so bad. I have been practicing specific prayers and visualization to help with my healing. As I start treatment I am asking you to join me in praying specifically for the chemo and radiation to attack the bad cells and for the side effects to minimal. I know that if we all join together it will make a huge difference.
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Side Effects - October 14, 2015
I wanted to give everyone an update. Eddie is having more bad days than good. He has started having more side effects now. Sores in his mouth, pain where radiation goes, nausea, fatigue and of course more weight loss. Thanks to our boys and friends he is getting to treatment. Phase 1 is half over, 13 more radiation treatments and then we switch chemo. Thanks for loving and praying for us.
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Single Digits - October 28, 2015
We are in single digits with this first round of treatment. The last couple of weeks have been rough but Eddie is feeling so much better this week. He had to get off the chemo pump for a week, radiation for 2 days and have some fluids but it has been so much better and he is finishing strong. His last radiation and chemo pump will be November 4th. Not sure what the next step will be but we know he will have to have some type of chemo. The type and length will be decided next week. Through this whole ordeal we have never felt alone. We have our weak moments, our scared moments and our confused moments but we also have our moments that we rejoice in all that God has done and is still doing through this. Our walk is really just beginning, our story is still being written and each day is a blessing. Thank you for loving us.
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Strong Women - November 4, 2015
As we finish up Eddie's radiation and chemo pump and head into the next phase of treatment God put this on my heart. Eddie has had more bad days than good and I have struggled watching him.
My mom is the strongest person I know. She has one Great Love, my Dad. 6 pretty good kids, one in heaven and the rest here with her, 6 excellent grandsons, 3 wonderful granddaughters and 3 awesome great-grandchildren!!! Mom has shown great courage through the years without my Dad and even more so after her diagnosis of beginning Alzheimer's.
My dad had his first heart attack at 44 and past away at 50. I always knew my parents loved each other but witnessing Mom's love was one of the greatest blessings I have ever had. Since I was single and young, I spent a lot of time with my parents during Daddy's final months. I believe God was preparing me for this time in my life.
Being a caregiver for the man I love and watching my boys love their Dad and me over the past months has been an amazing if not painful path. I watched my mom do this with my Dad and her parents, my Papa with Granny and then the family with my Papa. I learned how to love someone through painful times as well as good, how to trust God even when we don't understand and how to just be with someone when you can do nothing else.
My prayer for my boys is that they never have to go through this with the person they love but if they do that they live with no regrets, say the things that need to be said, serve well and love with their whole heart.
There are days that are hard for me and more often than not I feel like I fail God, Eddie, my boys, my mom or my sister but on those days I look to my mom for inspiration and love. I pray I can be half the woman she is. I am learning to lean on others, ask for help and to embrace my short comings. God is working a miracle here and I thank him daily for giving me a front row seat. Keep praying for Eddie as we begin this next phase of treatment.
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Happy Thanksgiving - November 24, 2015
I hope this Thanksgiving Season finds you and yours happy, healthy and blessed. As Thanksgiving approaches we find ourselves feeling so grateful for TIME. We now try to live our lives around one goal. LIVING in the moments of today. Overall that is the way we always should have been living but more often than not we failed. Loving each other well, connecting with our family and friends, giving time instead of rushing through. So many people have reached out to us, prayed for us and loved us and you will never know how much that means.
Eddie is scheduled for a scan and the start of the second round of chemo right around the 6 month mark of the our beginning of our journey. July 4th will always be the day that we felt like something was wrong even though the days that followed proved to be when our world changed. One of the hardest things about living with Eddie’s cancer has been the feeling that loss. Loss of time with our family and friends. Loss of health. Loss of weight. Loss of community. Loss of freedom to dream about some day. Loss of innocence. But we are not without Hope! We see God’s hand every day in our lives, the path we are on and our family and friends.
I think that anyone that has been through this will tell you that your whole life becomes about the day, the hour and sometimes the minutes that your loved one feels better. Our lives are no longer ruled by schedules but by appointments and treatments. There are no more to do list because frankly we are physically and emotionally too tired. Our DVR is still set to some TV shows but we don’t watch them fast enough so they get deleted. Although, Eddie is much more tolerable to watching the Hallmark movies that I so love this time of year. We don’t make plans that are more than a few days ahead because good days can turn into bad ones quickly. BUT…We are so blessed, loved and thankful. We ask that you say an extra pray in the coming weeks and especially on December 8th as we start this next chemo.
So this Thanksgiving…. spend the day relaxing, loving each other, playing crazy games and doing something fun.
We love you all
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December 31, 2015
As 2015 comes to a close and 2016 begins, we cannot help but look back before we can look forward. 2015 was a game changer for our family.
The first 6 months were filled with excitement and a little sadness for all of the “last times” as we prepared for Kade’s graduation. It was a little sad but Eddie and I are so proud of our boys. They are great men with a deep relationship with God, they have surrounded themselves with great people and they have excelled at their jobs and school but most importantly they continue to love their family. Now they do grumble but they humor their mom’s need to see and talk to them every few days. My boys and Eddie have all been to Haiti with our church youth and Eddie and Kade were preparing for a last trip in July. So life was moving along and exciting times were ahead.
As most know, Eddie was not feeling well the end of June and first of July. I refused to let him leave the country before seeing a doctor so he went. What began on July 4th as possible reflux or gall stones turned out to be so much more. Pancreatic Cancer. Fast forward 1 month, lots of prayers and praises, the right and best doctors, surgery and a plan…we have a shot at a future!
What that future is we don’t know but we do know that God has this! We have seen God move in mighty ways. Our road may be long and hard but it is also a road we are willing and grateful to travel. We know that most people with this type of cancer don’t have the opportunities that we are being given. So even though the future is uncertain and scary. It is a future that we are thankful for. It is a future we choose to grab a hold of and LIVE. It is a future we are honored to be given.
But it is the PRESENT that we are most grateful for. It is the PRESENT we choose to grab a hold of. It is the PRESENT that we choose to live in.
Eddie’s scans came back clear and is considered CANCER FREE! He began chemo in December and has 5 months to go. Besides being tired, he has tolerated it well. This type of chemo is considered a “Life sustaining” chemo. It helps prevent a re occurrence so we want him to have as many treatments as he can tolerate. That being said, his counts have been low so he was only able to have 2 out of the 3 treatments for December. So hopefully, he will be able to start them back next week.
So in 2016, love your family, stay health, live each moment and make memories!
Thank you for loving us, supporting us and praying for us!
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February 7, 2016
10 month
1 Ultrasound
2 scopes
Multiple MRIs
2 trips to Dallas
8 Angels Dressed in White
Too Many Loving Nurses to count
2 Hospital Stays
20 days in Dallas away from home
1 Life saving Surgery
And a Partridge in a Pear Tree!! Ha Ha
Eddie is doing remarkable well. He is working full time most days, gaining weight and living life. Chemo days are always hard and he gets tired but overall you would never know he was sick. We keep a low profile most of the time just to try and stay well. They have decided to try adding the 3rd treatment back to see if he can tolerate it. So pray that happens, our doctor really wants him to have them but we will just have to see.
We wanted to share that it looks like April 7th will be his last treatment. 6 days before his birthday! Oh what a great day this will be, anyone want to party!
We never doubted we would be here. We know how blessed we are and are honored to be given this chance but we never once thought Eddie would not BEAT THE CRAP out of this cancer. I could quote you all these percentages and survival rates but we don't focus on that because lets face it, they are overwhelmingly negative. We take it for what it is, numbers taken from someone else's journey. It can be overwhelming if you let it. So we choose to focus on Eddie's fight, his journey, his numbers and his success. We have said it before and we will keep saying it.
God has and still has us. He has loved us and surrounded us with praying people. He has provided us with all we need. God is Good, All the Time!
Thank you for loving us and choosing to walk with us.
We Love you all,
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March 22, 2016
3 WEEKS....Thursday marks the last round of chemo for Eddie. 3 weeks and he will be done. Back in July this day seemed so far away. But here we are walking where so few with this horrible disease get to go. Eddie is doing really well but the last couple of treatments have really hit him hard so we are expecting it to be a rough ending.
We both seem to be a little more emotional as the end draws near. As excited as we are we also have fear of the future. Cancer is a strange thing and being a survivor can sometimes be just as frightening as having cancer. As we move forward, pray for Eddie and I to have peace as we walk this new path.
Thanks for loving us through this.
We are walking joyously into the future, believing and praising God!
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Pray Hard - April 1, 2016
Eddie is being flown to Dallas because he has developed some complications from his Whipple surgery. We have very few details at this time. As soon as we have more information we will update.
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April 2, 2016
NG tube is out. MRI has been done. He feels a lot better. Dr Mejia will be back tomorrow to talk about plan. May do a scope too. Feels like damage from radiation may have caused restrictions. If that is case they will have to operate and do a bypass to correct. No one feels like cancer is back but not a 100% sure. We feel better after talking with Dr Mejia.
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April 4, 2016
Eddie is scheduled for surgery at 1:30 tomorrow to clear blockage. Thank you for your continued prayers.
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April 5, 2016
Eddie is out of surgery. They bypassed the affected bile duct but unfortunately found more cancer. We will find out more as soon as pathology comes back but chemo will be only option. We are in shock and sad. Thanks for your prayers. Please keep them coming as I prepare to tell Eddie and for the boys.
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Words we hoped not to hear - April 9, 2016
I am sorry that we have not updated in a couple of days. We have needed a few days to really hear the words and we have needed time with our boys. The impact and complete devastation we feel are hard to express. Our journey has taken the turn we so hoped we were going to avoid. You have allowed me to pour my heart out during this whole journey but all I feel now is loss and that is hard to express. It looks like Eddie's cancer is Stage 4. We are not sure what that means in treatment or time but we do know we have today and for that we are thankful. We appreciate and feel all your thoughts and prayers.
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Ready to Fight - April 12, 2016
We are on day 12 of our hospital stay and hoping to be moving out in the next couple of days. Eddie is getting a little better everyday but it is just a slow process for him this time around. Tomorrow we will celebrate Eddie's birthday hopefully with an eviction notice. We will be staying in the area with family for a couple of days before heading home. The boys went home on Sunday and are getting back to normal thanks to family and friends.
We are ready to be home and to meet with our Oncologist to get the fight started. Thanks for loving us.
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Breaking Free - April 15, 2016
15 days later and we are finally leaving the hospital. Eddie is doing so much better. Doctors finally figured out that his stomach is not working right and with a little nudge and some medicine we are getting it to work much better. Our prayer is that it will continue to improve so we can get home to begin to fight. We will stay in Mansfield with family and friends for a couple of days and then head home.
We cannot thank you enough for carrying our prayers and loving us over the last couple of weeks. Even though we hoped to not be here we praise God for walking before us. As usual he has provided us with a chance to fight, a chance to find the cancer before it was too late and a chance to tell our story of his grace and mercy. It has taken us a while to get here but God is so good and patient and he understands our needs. We love you all and will be home soon.
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True Love - May 6, 2016
I most often talk about how we are doing and try to stay positive when sharing with everyone. But to be totally honest, most days are brutal and sometimes I am not sure how we will bear what is coming. Eddie is fighting through each day. We are still fighting the infection and weighing our options on treatment plans. As I try and prepare my heart for the coming months, days, minutes…God keeps whispering peace over me. I have truly felt God hold me up when I never thought I would be able to stand. He has put so many people in my path to help encourage and strengthen me. There are too many to name but I am thankful for each and every one of you.
Last Saturday was such a blessing for all of us and we thank everyone who came to the party, sent messages and loved us. Many traveled far to celebrate Eddie and spend they few hours with us. It was everything we hoped and more than we could ever have imagined. You have allowed me to pour my heart out on this page and I wanted to share what I wrote for Saturday night. Specific pray request is for pain. That is our biggest battle moving forward. Thank you all and know we love you with all our hearts.
Eddie, loving you has always come easy for me, liking each other sometimes was harder. From the first time we met, I felt at home. And it only took me a few short weeks to convince YOU that I was right!J This has been a theme for our marriage…me convincing you I am right! For those of you that don’t know our story, our first date was December 31st 1991 and we were engaged a few short months later and married a few short months after that in October 1992. After losing my dad 1.5 years before, I felt RIGHT for the first time in a long time.
We have loved each other through our brightest of days and through our darkest of days. Eddie, you held me, walked beside me and loved me during our hard fought battle to have our boys. I watched you become a Dad, to lead our boys and many others by example. I have watched you love our mothers, our sisters and our families and you have gone along with most anything I have thrown at you. Again, pretty much a THEME of our marriage.
Eddie has become flexible when dealing with our crazy life. Whether it is graciously receiving a “puppy” for an Anniversary gift knowing it is really for me or helping me cook for “OUR KIDS”, you are always up for the ride. You see, it is not unusual for me to walk in and say I am cooking or we are doing this tonight, which leads to Eddie asking “How many people are we talking about?” He has learned to ask “How many” and he has learned NOT to say, “Well I don’t want too but whatever you want!” If he means NO he has to say NO. Because that my friends is how we ended up with one of our other dogs! Right boys?
When we got married we said, “For Better and Worse and In Sickness and In Health.” We got the “For Better or Worse” pretty early. We started our pre-marriage off by driving all the way to Georgia and back with my mom. To this day “a rosebush has many thorns” has a double meaning because of this trip! (So let me remind you all of our short engagement, after that trip I had to lock him in!)J There were MANY, MANY Anniversary soccer trips over the years. The unforgettable HOT, raccoon and did I mention HOT “Mother’s Day” camping trip, the building of 2 homes…AND 24 years later WE ARE STILL MARRIED. God is GOOD!
We never expected to walk the path we are on but here we are. If there is one thing we have learned, it is to live each day to the fullest and to not sweat the small stuff. Our house may not be clean or updated. We may not drive fancy cars or have the best toys but we do know how to love fierce and laugh often.
“In Sickness and in Health” has never meant more than this past year. Faced with a formable opponent, Eddie, you have lead by example once again. Thank you for choosing to fight every day. It has been my privilege to walk beside you. My honor to carry the burden for you when you could not. And my greatest joy to love you through this long battle.
To our boys, you have stood watch over Dad and me, helped whenever we have called and allowed us to lean on you. We could not get through this without you and we could not be more proud of both of you or love you more.
In our darkest hours we have cried out to God for strength and healing. He walked before us and we have felt him in every step, in every doctor and in every answered pray. Although, the journey is not over, you have conquered the first mountain. Now we will climb the next mountain, just as we did the first, with God walking before us.
So tonight first and foremost, we Thank God for each day we have been given and will be given.
Second, We thank you, our family and friends, for walking beside us, for lifting us up, for praying for us, for supporting us, for celebrating with us and most importantly for loving us. You have all blessed our lives, sat at our table and held us up. You have shown us God’s love in a mighty way!
But most importantly, tonight we celebrate Eddie.
Eddie,
You are putting in the time
You are fighting the fight
You are choosing to Live.
You love well and you are well loved!
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Confident but Broken Hearted - May 19, 2016
It is with a confident but broken heart that we have decided to stop all treatments and enter hospice care. We thank God everyday for giving us the past 10 months and for giving us however many more days we have left. Even though this is not the outcome we wanted we still thank God for blessing us with this victory and we pray for pain free day. Please continue to lift our family up and hold us close in your daily prayers.
Throughout this journey there have been so many ups and downs and we are humbled and so honored that you have chosen to walk beside us. You continue to amaze us at how well you love us. There are no words that could ever express how much we appreciate it. Eddie and I have always tried to live by example and in some small way hope to leave places better than we found them. There is not a day that goes by that we do not see Eddie's handprints in the places he has worked or lived. Many people we know and some that we have never met have reached out to help us and shared stories of what Eddie has done for them, some things we knew about but many he quietly did but more often than not he just quietly did God's work and made places better.
We love you all
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Letting Go - May 24, 2016
Life has a funny way of showing us what we are made of when we least expect it. I have learned that loving someone enough to let them go takes great courage but asking them to stay is selfish and believe me I want to be selfish. We have no doubt of where Eddie is going and who he will see but being ok with that is something that has taken some time. I am not sure if my heart knows how to beat without him. As I sit beside Eddie night after night and day after day I realize how much he has impacted my life and many others and I know I am a better wife, mother, daughter and person because he loved me so well. The pain I feel watching Eddie can only be a small portion of what God felt for his own son or Mary and Joseph felt watching Jesus. I will be honest with you, knowing we will see him again does little to comfort me because I am feeling kinda selfish but some day it WILL comfort me, today is not that day. I know we will be some form of ok with time and love. I praise God every day for allowing me to walk this path with Eddie and for loving us enough to not walk it alone. Over the next hours and days, keep us in prayers as we prepare to say goodbye.
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Pain Free and Cancer Free - May 28, 2016
As Eddie took his last breath at 3:50am I am reminded of this. "Live your life not by how many breathes you take but how many things take your breath away." Eddie was a quiet man who lived his life with dignity and grace, stealing my breath away every single day and loving us well. I will never breath the same way again. I love you honey, oh how I love you and we will miss you.
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Final Goodbye - June 1, 2016
As I prepare to say goodbye to the love of my life it seems surreal that Eddie is gone. That I have to live a lifetime before I get to hold his hand, kiss or hug him. At times I think how unfair it is but then I try to remind myself that I had more in 24 years, especially the last 10 months, than most people find in a lifetime. Still understanding the why will never come in my lifetime but I will live each day trying to be a doer with a happy heart like Eddie. Someday, my heart will beat again and breathing will not take as much effort but for now my boys and my family will be enough to make the days not so long. I love you Eddie and will miss you everyday that I live without you.