forgetting...

I knew it would happen one day.  I tried to mentally prepare myself.  24 days after Eddie died, I left work and picked my phone up to call him just like I have done for 24 years.  So I pressed his number and listened to his voice and cried out for my husband.  Wishing with everything I have that he would pick up and talk to me about nothing and about everything.  Oh how I miss Eddie.  The little things that I took for granted are what I miss the most.  Each day has its own struggles but each day has its own victories.  I long to share my thoughts, my days, my nights...my life with him. 

Wouldn't you know that the first holiday that we have without Eddie would be Father's Day?  It has always been a hard one for me even after 26 years but celebrating Eddie and my grandfather made it easier.  Now with both of them gone too, it will be even harder.  The boys and I made the best of it but it just was not be the same of course.  We never really made a big deal out of mother's day or father's day, just spent the day together as a family and that is what we did.  The boys are going to celebrate a little late by going to watch the USA men play Argentina Tuesday night.  Eddie would have loved to do this with the boys.  He would have complained about the money being spent but he would have loved it.

Life is continuing and memories are being made. I think that is what I am trying to learn.