My story began 49 years ago on a farm in Petersburg, Texas. I grew up in a loving family that had it's hardships like most but was rich in love and community. I was surrounded by loving grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends, neighbors and parents who loved each other. My dad began having heart issues in his 40s and died at 50 years old. My mom was 49 years old. I was 24 years old.
Two years later I met the love of my life, Eddie. We began dating and quickly married and started our family. Eddie grew up in a military family and lived all over, including many years in Spain. He longed for a family and roots. My family embraced him and he embraced them. We can be overpowering, loud but so much love. We were married in October 1992 and because of health problems we quickly added to our family with Zachary in May of 1994 and Kade in October 1996. Our family was complete!
Years went by with Eddie passing his love of soccer to our boys, modest living, building of 2 homes and loving each other. The 4 of us were rarely apart. We have been a part of 3 amazing church families. We have and were embraced and loved on by each one at different points in our lives. Eddie and I felt our relationship changing as the boys neared graduation and we were all excited about the future. 2015 held a lot of promise and excitement for us. Kade graduated and Eddie and Kade were heading back to Haiti with the youth group. Zachary had been twice and on his second trip the summer of 2013 all three, Kade, Zachary and Eddie went to do mission work. It was a life changing trip for all of them and me at home. Kade and Eddie were eager to return in July 2015.
They say when your life changes course you will always remember how life was before and after a certain day. July 4, 2015 is that day for me. That was the day Eddie really started feeling bad. If you want to read about the whole journey, you can find it on caringbridge.org/eddiemcmahan. In a nutshell, Eddie was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer and it began our 11 month journey. We fought hard, loved hard and lived for each day. We all thought we had it beat and then in April 2016 we found out the cancer was back and as much as we hated it we saw the end coming. So, after 2 trips to Dallas for surgery, radiation, 2 rounds of chemo, multiple stays in the hospital and 12 days on Hospice our journey came to an end.
So, like my mom, I am a 49 year old widow. I have a lifetime to live without Eddie. My boys have a lifetime to live without their Dad. We are learning each day how to do that. It is not easy and each day has it's own challenges. It is all fresh and hurts.
I have written throughout our journey with Eddie's encouragement and blessing. I poured our hearts, fears, joys and sorrow out for anyone to read. We always felt we wanted to be able to look back and see where we had traveled and hopefully share our journey with all of you along the way. So that is where this blog comes into play. I needed a place besides Facebook, instagram and Careingbridge to post.
I will warn you, I don't sugarcoat when I write. The emotions are raw and I try to be as honest as possible. This will be my journey, about my life and I hope you come along for the ride.